How flopping around as a novice Pole Dancer changed my life…
I intuitively knew that there was something in Pole Dancing for me. Every time that little Groupon ad passed through my inbox I would just get this spark of excitement. Something about the power of a woman’s ability to command her body, to choose her own expression, and to be so Bold to be the center of attention – even if it’s just the attention of the pole itself.
But I was intimidated – I imagined myself looking like some floppy fish rather than an alluring siren. It was like I wanted to be a master at pole before I even tried it.
That’s how I’ve often felt with most things – that I needed to know what I was doing and that it needed to look perfect. I need to look perfectly competent, perfectly sexy, perfectly not-having-bags-under-my-eyes even though I’m exhausted by the marathon routine of an over-achiever.
When my boyfriend broke up with me, everything fell apart.
My desire to be wanted was so great that I had been chameleoning and contorting myself to the point that I didn’t even recognize who I was anymore. I was so disconnected from my body because I had been shoving down my feelings and just dragging her along for the ride. When the person I so deeply desired to measure up for was no longer there, the fight ended. It was like this moment of being in a vacuum. I was left standing in the stillness, much like after a storm ends. I was left staring at myself.
I had no idea what would come next. I felt hollow, life felt meaningless. I was divorced, partnerless and jobless ( I had left corporate on a leap of intuitive faith to start my own business).
But in this place of meaningless, I suddenly witnessed in this silence an opportunity to create.
To create something from the depths of me that had been dying to come out but that I had continued to suppress again and again and again for so long.
This was my chance to finally create a life that felt like it was mine.
I was ready to stop feeling stagnant and to feel Movement and Aliveness. But how?
Pole Dance popped into my mind.
I knew the co-owner of Divine Movement Jen Patenaude because we shared the dance floor at Friday Night Brazilian Zouk socials at Salsa Con Todo.
I reached out to Jen and she helped get me signed up for her Pole 101 class. Lucky for me, my depression at the time left little fucks for me to give. I was spending my evenings in either underwear or sweatpants, so rolling right over to the studio didn’t feel like much of a transition. The lights would be dark so I didn’t need to worry about the bags under my eyes or my stress acne. I could literally just be me.
The class started and I looked around at 6 other women of various dressed/undressed, old/young, different colors of skin and texture and body shape and size and dance background – all sitting cross legged or lounged across black mats creating a circle around the room. Some looked right at home in short shorts and leg warmers and some looking a little tentative like me, I realized I probably wasn’t the only one who felt awkward, or self judgmental.
But what united us was that we all committed to being there – and in our mutual commitment to this 1 hour and 45 minutes together, of softening into self love and exploration, our stories intertwined and I realized my acne was her acne, and her concern about her belly fat was the same as the one I had had before, and her gangly awkwardness suddenly looked beautiful from my own fresh perspective and I was able to love my own.
With no mirrors in the room, and sitting in almost pitch darkness, it felt like being held in a womb together. Poetic really.
We did a 45 minute warm up that ended with a meditative combination. I momentarily freaked out that I wouldn’t remember the combo, or that I wouldn’t look like the chick in Flashdance, but as I looked around at this group of women committing whole heartedly to the writhing, snaking, slithering, undulating, I realized it wasn’t about performance, this was a whole different animal. It was an invitation to literally BE more animal. To ReWild and return home to our natural ability to flow, to improvise, to feel, to be present, to be moved by music, to use our muscles, and to love our bodies simply because it’s the vessel we came here in.
It’s experiences like the one I had at Divine Movement that helped lift me out of my depression.
I experienced myself as beautiful, graceful, capable, and secure in the present moment – and through this I was able to start cultivating new beliefs about myself and manifesting a life that reflected these beliefs that I’m worthy and lovable.
Do you KNOW what is possible when you stop tying your value to what you do or how successful you are, and start experiencing the beauty of who you naturally are?
I started becoming my own best friend instead of my worst critic.
I started enjoying life as an intuitive adventure instead of something that I have to logically navigate and survive like a chess board.
I started becoming fascinated by the power of how our beliefs literally create our reality (quantum physics is insane), and the ways that you can rewire and no longer be held hostage by your past.
I was so fascinated that I became trained as a Life Coach and created Bold Babe Collective to share all that I learned.
I am THRILLED to announce Bold Babe is partnering with Divine Movement to offer an exclusive ReWild event on Saturday, October 12th: UNLEASHED.
UNLEASHED is an afternoon combining the magic of pole, feminine boudoir movement, Bold Babe life coaching and Sisterhood.
If you’re looking to soften into self love, feel at peace in your body, and connect to the flow of your inner divine feminine, this is the most beautiful gift to yourself.
Plus all attendees are getting a BONUS Laser Coaching session with me. Click the link to see what gorgeousness we dreamed up and secure your seat around the pole.
Tickets here (limit 12 Babes):
How you can get Bold
As a Bold Babe Life Coach, I guide clients (privately and in groups) to get clear on what makes them feel innately alive, and to stop focusing on being perfect, stop waiting for permission, and overcome fears to start creating an authentic life that they are legitimately excited to wake up to. If this sounds up your alley, you can learn more and grab a free chat with me here: